January 15, 2015

Old fashioned Chivalry: Who Wouldn't Want That?

Ever watched an old movie and noticed how the guys would treat the ladies? Men would actually stand up whenever a woman walked into the room. Weird, right? They would always open doors for the ladies, carry their luggage, pull their chairs out for them at a restaurant, help them with their coats, hold umbrellas over them in the rain, and so on. If you were a dame back in the day, it was like you were someone special, someone to be cared for, someone important...just because you were a "she."

I'm not gonna lie, I could get used to that. I mean, yeah, I don't necessarily want every guy to have to stand when I enter the room, but most of that other stuff would be, well, pretty nice. I mean, c'mon, what woman out there, if she was truly honest with herself, would object to being treated with that kind of honor and respect? Men who are courteous and kind to you wherever you go...who wouldn't want that?

Now before I go any further, I just want to say that I am very blessed to be married to a man who is like that. Very blessed. Now, don't hate me. And don't try to track him down, either. He's taken, girls, so back off!

Times have changed so much, haven't they. It's hard to even picture a time when chivalry was alive and breathing.  I'm not saying it's totally dead out there in our society...but maybe in a coma. Sometimes, we get a little glimpse of what it was like back in the day. Like when some stranger, usually an older gentleman, holds the door open for you.  Now, I don't mean the "let me reach back and keep the door open so it doesn't slam into your face" kind of door holding (you know what I'm talking about)...no, I mean that smiling gentleman who intentionally opens the door for you as though you were some sort of celebrity.

Yeah, we could all get used to that real easily.


This week, I attended a prescreening of a movie that's coming out this Valentine's Day called "Old fashioned". Clay, the main guy in the film, has some theories about love and relationships that most people would consider old fashioned. The way he relates with women would mirror something like what you'd see in an old black and white film.  His ideas and ways of doing things make him both an interesting character as well as an easy target for ridicule from his friends. But when Amber, the pretty, young, free-spirited girl who moves into the apartment above Clay's antique shop, finds out about Clay's theories, she is intrigued. And it doesn't take long for Amber to start warming up to some of these old fashioned ideas. And it's not hard to see why. What girl is going to be repulsed by a guy who treats her with honor and respect? Chivalry is never a turn off.

And even though Clay's "step back in time" approach to love and marriage is a major theme throughout the movie, that's not really the heart of what the movie is about. It's really about finding love, no matter where you've been or what you've done.  And not the kind of love we're used to seeing on the screen. Real love. The kind of love that honors, protects and puts the needs of the other person before his or her own.

One of the things that makes this film so good is that the characters aren't. What I mean is, they aren't perfect. They're real, like you and me. They've made their share of mistakes, but haven't we all. Even if the details of our stories are different, every single one of us has blown it in a thousand different ways. And I'm so thankful that God doesn't treat us as our sins deserve. We ALL need His forgiveness. No one is better than someone else.

I think there are a lot of people out there who feel like their past has somehow put them in this category of "damaged goods" as Clay puts it. And that somehow they are exempt from ever getting to experience love and marriage in all its fullness because of their past. But God's mercy is much greater than that. He really does make us into new creations.

2 Corinthians 5:17 says, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

When God forgives, that forgiveness is total and complete. Even if you've blown it after you became a Christian, He can still heal and restore. And I think this film is going to give great hope and encouragement to anyone who has ever felt like their past was hindering their future.

God wants to offer you more than you ever thought possible!

I really can't do this movie justice in a few short paragraphs. You just need to see it. I think it's probably the most real love story I can remember watching. There is nothing hokey, unrealistic or forced about this film. The characters are interesting and even surprising at times...they're likable and fun, and their interactions with each other are quite entertaining to say the least. It's honest, funny, thought-provoking...and at times it felt like they could read my heart. Sometimes movies have a way of showing us things deep down inside that we couldn't have even put into words. This is one of those movies.

I highly recommend this film. I loved it, my husband loved it and I think you will, too.

And one more thing, I just want to put you at ease if you're worried about the PG-13 rating.  They do not show anything they shouldn't (in other words, there's no nudity or anything).  But because they are keeping it real to life, some of the things that come up in the film would not be appropriate for all ages.  In other words, you can safely go see this with your spouse or friends, but it's not one you'll take the kids to.  For that matter, I don't know if there's any movie I'd take my 2 year old to right now...learned that one the hard way...I got to see a little bit of Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas and a whole lot of the hallway. I know, I know, what were we thinking?! And this is our third!

And that's why I end up feeling like the raccoon. :-)

-Rachel