Enjoy them while they're young...and older

If you have young kids, you know these words by heart. I bet you've even heard them in the past month, or even the past week. Somewhere, someone has said to you: "Enjoy them while they're young because they grow up fast." It could have been a stranger or relative or maybe someone at church or the grocery store, but I am pretty sure you just heard this somewhere.

But why do so many different people echo this same message time and time again?  I don't get the feeling that it's just something people say, like "we needed this rain" or "How 'bout them Chiefs?".  No, it seems to me that these words are coming from some place deeper...like it's really their words.

I think one reason we hear this so often is because it's true...they do grow up fast. From the moment our children come into this world, a scientific phenomenon occurs:  the years get shorter. That same 365 day cycle that felt like an eternity when we were kids (especially if Christmas was still several months away) now just flies by. Just go to someone's graduation open house that you haven't seen in a long time and you'll really feel it..."Wasn't he just a little boy a few years ago???  Wasn't she a flower girl in so and so's wedding not that long ago?"  

And because of this, we have to guard ourselves from just rushing through these years, trying to get to the next "easier" season. The Bible tells us to number our days that we might gain a heart of wisdom (Psalm 90:12). I'm really guilty of not doing this. I often treat my days as though they're an endless supply, when in reality, they're a small batch...and once they're gone, they're gone.

Maybe that's why people so often give the same advice...because we need to be reminded how brief this time is. Honestly, on some days we really do enjoy this season. But these same years that are filled with indescribable joy and moments that feel like glimpses of heaven, are also some of the most exhausting and physically demanding. Things like sleep deprivation, noise everywhere, toys everywhere, incessant cleaning, refereeing, runny noses, worrying about RSV, trying to make ends meet, etc. etc. make it just a tad bit challenging to truly "enjoy" this time. Sometimes we don't enjoy the moments. Sometimes we're just trying to survive the moments.

I'm one of these people who really wants to get things right the first time. I hate the word "regret". As you can imagine, parenthood has been a real emotional breeze for me.  Yeah. We hadn't even left the hospital with our firstborn son and I was already fighting the big "R" word. I still remember obsessing over a "very small but at the time seemed like the end of the world" decision. So there I was, in our hospital room, second-guessing and, I hate to even say it, "r.......ing" this thing which now I realize did not even matter at all. And that was just the beginning.

My point in all this is that whether or not you have perfectionist issues like I do, we want to get this mom thing right the first time. We really do want to take their advice and enjoy this special season of life when our kids are young. But I think in order to do this, we need to have realistic expectations and goals.

First off, no one, no matter what their circumstances are, lives every moment in a state of peaceful, reflective joy. That's just not realistic. 

At the same time, we can make strides in the right direction. Don't let those mommy-guilt thoughts keep you from pressing toward the goal. No one gets it perfect. No one does it all right on the first try. If you want proof, just think of how many people give this advice and how they probably wish they would have enjoyed these years more, which is why they're telling us to.  

We'll never get to a place where we always have the right perspective and appreciate

and enjoy every single moment, but we can choose to find joy in our circumstances and intentionally slow down enough to take in those smiles and hugs more. Right now, they're an everyday thing, but it won't always be that way. They won't always have a picture to show us that they just colored, or a Lego Star Wars scene they just built. There will come a day when there won't be invitations to tea parties from our daughters and we'll have to say goodbye to singing Disney karaoke songs (okay, except for that...I still do that).

And even when this season of life passes, life doesn't end. Truly these years are very special...full of wonder, newness, funny little things they say, tucking them in bed with a hundred stuffed animals...this season is unlike any other, and I want to take it all in. But soon, another season will start. Our sons might not be showing us wooden train tracks they built, but we'll get to enjoy other things like watching them play guitar in a band or cheering them on as they score the winning goal. And we might not be braiding dolls' hair, but we'll be fixing our daughters' hair and taking them shopping for new clothes. I want to enjoy this season, but I also want to enjoy the next season every bit as much as this present one. And even when our little ones become adults with families of their own, I want to enjoy that...I want to enjoy them in that season.

So enjoy the seasons, and enjoy today. Let's number our days together!

-Rachel :-)